I didn’t consciously choose the spiritual path I have been on.
I did not set out seeking an asshole to further my liberation. Like most people, I just happened into one. As most of the romantic stories of my life, it fell right to me and I devoured it like a starving dog devours the kitchen scraps thrown out the back door. After all he was so sensitive, he had a spiritual path, he had brushed up on tantric skills in the bedroom, and his sheets were clean (an alarmingly rare quality in single men).
Let me put this on the table right now. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I don’t have the answers you are seeking. I don’t advocate you do anything like me. Most of the time I can’t tell if I am a warrior priestess on a light workers journey, or I’m just some misguided old maid making some very poor decisions.
So what are the tenants of spiritual growth through dating an asshole? It boils down to one principle, choose to look for the lesson in every heartbreak. Remember life is not working against you but for your greatest good. Your heart only feels broken if you are in resistance to the lesson. Accept the lesson and his emotional unavailability is really non-attachment and that is a virtue. Know that your heart is not really broken, it is expanding, like when an antique teacup hits the floor. You didn’t really want tea anyway.